Winner of the competition of "Prettier
Motherland Pages, for a Prettier Sovietnet!"
Politburo "Award for Excellence in Socialist Webdesign
in the Youth Collective" is a worldwide recognized symbol
of quality for extremely advanced and progressive websites
in the Sovietnet of the brother countries of the Comecon (Communist
Also visit our Socialist Culture Gift Shop in which none of the buttons work but it leaves you with the impression of a rich and diverse Socialist Culture!
French President Jacues Chirac wearing
a commemorative CFK T-Shirt
When we say must buy we mean it!
The bright new day is near, when our new site, The People’s Cube, shall rise over the virtual horizon like the red sun of the revolution, dispelling the right-wing darkness of the blogosphere. This day shall be known as the dawn of Gulagosphere. It shall become a state holiday, celebrated in centuries ahead by spontaneous street marches of correctly educated proletarians chanting Party-approved slogans, peacefully hurling bricks at occasional remnants of the bourgeoisie, and vigorously consuming quantities of inexpensive People’s Cube sugar beet vodka.
Buy communist T-Shirts - invest in other people's future!
T-Shirt: WHo Is John Kerry?
click the shirt for larger image
100% Cotton T-Shirt Hanes Heavyweight T 5280 (5.6oz)
Estimated first shipment - March 25, 2005
T-Shirt: A Century of Failure
click the shirt for larger image
100% Cotton T-Shirt Hanes Heavyweight T 5280 (5.6oz)
Estimated first shipment - April 1, 2005
A red T-Shirt before the revolution is better than a gray shovel afterwards!
The least conscientious of you may ask: if the revolution is a historical necessity, can’t it come about anyway without your personal sacrifice? The answer is "no!" Just like no clairvoyant has ever won a lottery, no historically inevitable revolution has ever occurred without sacrifices on the part of historically progressive classes. Those lazy comrades who take historical necessity for granted shall pay dearly! Remember - a red T-Shirt before the revolution is better than a gray shovel afterwards!
The great dialectical paradox of anti-capitalist revolution is that it requires an investment of certain capitalist exploitation units (dollars). For that purpose our Artist Union members have designed a couple of politically appropriate must-buy T-Shirts which are now available for proletarian acquisition (sale) ahead of schedule!
The people’s products shall be distributed on first-come-first-serve basis to Party members. Everybody else look around the block for the end of the line.
* Only the sizes marked in red are to be ordered. The rest will become available
sometime in the next few weeks or as soon as the Central Planning
Committee amends the current Five Year Plan, whichever comes first.
( XXL ) Party Hero
( XL ) Eminent Apparatchik
( Large ) Exemplary Worker
( Medium ) Collective Farmer
( Small ) Toiling Intelligentsia
( Petite ) Patrice Lumumba Peoples’ Friendship University Student
While in line, chatting is encouraged. Our agents are listening.
The Politbureau 02/24/05 - 3:44 pm
Some comrades have asked us to give them quotes on the shirts. Here you go!
USEFUL QUOTES TO REMEMBER
-- If the revolution is a historical necessity, that doesn't mean it'll happen regardless of your personal sacrifice of $19.99!
-- Give us your property and become a better person!
-- Buy communist T-Shirts - invest in other people's future!
-- When we say must buy we mean it!
-- A red T-Shirt before the revolution is better than a gray shovel afterwards!
Prolaterian Equalizer 02/24/05 - 7:18 pm
Komrades, I am awaiting with much zeal for the release of these state approved garments. I cannot wait to wear such glorious examples of the working classes toils and for my state rationed money to be redistributed when I request one of these shirts!
Only your revolutionary zeal and excitement, Comrade, can explain your otherwise inexcusable ommission of (1) TYPE, (2) SIZE & (3) QUANTITY.
As the legendary founder of the KGB Felix Dzerzhinsky used to say, keep your heart hot, your head cool, and your nose clean! Let no smallest error pass unnoticed, Comrade, be it on your part or on the part of your loved ones, friends, and colleagues! Vigilance begins at home!
Proletarian Equalizer 02/24/05 - 8:26 pm
Komrades, I forgot to mention in my previous post that I will be requiring 1 XL of the "who is john kerry" shirt type to celebrate the work force.
That's better. You are excused. Red Eye
Ahhhh! Again the capitalists prevent us from clothing the masses in the uniform of sack-cloth and tattered castoffs while polluting our fishes! The bleeding dye of the Revolution must continue as it trickles into the streams of consciousness!
Support the revolution and buy these environmentally-incorrect T-shirts! Because your sacrifice now will and must lead to the eventual triumph of the Revolutionary Spirit! It is historical inevitablity! Then we'll clean everything up, promise!
Comrade Otis 02/25/05 - 10:45 pm
I would like to preorder but the workers at the Super State Store must be at a important Party meeting. Please send me everything you have. Everything. I promise not to hoard. I promise I won't corner the Communist T-shirt market. I promise not to exploit the workers or expropriate their labor by marking up the prices at confiscatory rates that'll leave them homeless and destitute in the harsh winter cold and make me rich and fat and powerful. I am but a simple man with simple tastes and like to collect things. As Lenin said so well: Peace, bread and T-shirts! I still believe in this.
PS - John Kerry?
Guest 02/27/05 - 10:24 am
What is the price is rubals please? I still don't know which shirt would make my government prouder. The area where I live still seems to think there is a person named John Kerry so I might go with the "Centery of failure proves nothing" shirt.
But I need to know the price!
Due to our collective hatred towards the filthy-capitalist-slave-monetary units, we tried to keep our revolutionary-communist efforts free and untainted of such wickedness. But since you asked, we will make known that Comrades will have to donate exactly:
$19.99, to the Revolution, in order to receive the Red-Revolutionary T-Shirt
(Party Heroes, please add $2.00 for sheer gallantry and valor)
Comrade Otis 02/28/05 - 6:14 pm
Seriously, I'd like to preorder 2 large Who is John Kerry? T-shirts and 1 XXL Who is John Kerry? I'm going to send the XXL to Michael Moore.
Here is something for you.
Comrade Otis is hereby being awarded with The Best Marksman Pin for excellent shooting and hitting the bull's eye. This video truly deserves to be in the theaters along with its counterpart, Fahrenheit 9/11, an equally honest and fearless study of class struggle in today's capitalist America. Clearly, it must be the political censorship of the Bush administration that has prevented this documentary from getting nominated for the Oscars.
The least we can do is display it prominently on the front page of the CFK Party organ.
Wear this pin proudly, comrade!
Prolaterian Equalizer 02/28/05 - 8:37 pm
Komrades, when are these glorious shirts of the prolateriat going to be sold? I request of the party an approximate date so that i may plan this mini-revolution.
politruk tito 03/03/05 - 12:27 am
1 Century of failure XXL
Komrade Koz 03/06/05 - 9:14 pm
Komrades, I wish to pre-order the "Why is JK?" shirt.
guest 03/10/05 - 3:49 pm
One XL of each of the two shirts for me! (Stanley....my user name hasn't been activated yet)
lUMPEN 03/13/05 - 6:08 pm
Oh-Oh one (P) for me!
ASAP 03/13/05 - 6:27 pm
John Kerry is my hero!
Bush is Herod!
I'd like to preorder "Century of failure XXL "
dd 03/14/05 - 1:53 am
I would like to order before our journey to the Democratic People's Republic of Massachusetts, scheduled for this summer:
Style #1: 1 lg, 1 med
huh? 03/17/05 - 3:17 pm
since when do revolutions need money?
But revolutionaries do! Stalin used to stage train robberies to fill the Party coffers before the Revolution. Bombs, fliers, bribes, rally permits, plots and conspiracies, murders, travel and entertainment, Swiss hotels for the Politbureau...
Tomorrow's rally in New York (03/19/05) to protest the new democracy in Iraq is going to cost. International A.N.S.W.E.R., U.P.J., and other communist front groups are spending to the tune of a few hundred thousand capitalist exploitation units (aka dollars) on this. Considering that their Oil-For-Food millions are almost gone by now, who's their daddy now?
We will MAKE you generous!
Down with Government 03/29/05 - 1:18 pm
No Governement no nothing just freedom is all that we need! Common no communism no democracy no nothing just bliss!
COMMUNISAM IS PERFECT SOCIETY FOR PERFECT PEOPLE.!!!!!!!!!
Comrade Otis 06/07/05 - 3:07 pm
I'm having a problem with one of your fine t-shirts. I bought a XX-L Who is John Kerry? and sent it to Mr Michael Moore. The other day I got it back in the mail from Mr Moore. He complained that the XX-L isn't large enough to fit him. Can you guys make a great big fatso special? Something like XXXXX-Jumbo Elephant size? Thanks.