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Meet the Party
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The Politbureau
By Red Eye
08/01/04 - 11:12 pm

J.F.Che
Great Leader, MEDIA Contact
This is your field commander J.F.Che’. I am working under the strict guidance of our great General Secretary. He has gracefully placed field operations into my humble hands. Contact me to start a revolution in your area. See the "Start a Revolution" page for details. I am also the Secretary of Misinformation. All MEDIA please contact the Politbureau through me. If you try to contact the General Secretary directly you will quickly disappear at the hands of the Secret Police. Viva la Revolucion!
Contact: jason74ps@yahoo.com
General Secretary
Fearless Leader
Since I hatched my great plan the revolution is progressing well and our numbers swell daily. These days I find it hard to make it down from Chapaqua to mingle with the common peasants. You all must toil harder as we need to increase our tax revenue so that the great welfare state can become a reality.
Contact: generalsecretary@communistsforkerry.com
Ivan Lenin
The Party's Brain
Ivan Lenin is the most humane human being, and the fatha of da Revolution (as opposed to Vladimir Lenin, the father of the revolution)
Contact: lenin@communistsforkerry.com

PURGED!

It is our sad duty to report that such person never existed

Kommissar Finn
Non-Person
Non-Kommissar of Public Morals, Higher Re-education, and Secondary Sexual Characteristics


He will be always remembered as the most expendable member

Kommander Djin
Courageous Bureaucratic Official
Headquarters Kommander of the Party's Counterintelligence Units
Contact: kommanderdjin@communistsforkerry.com
Komrad Red Eye
Chairman of the Artists Union
Propaganda artist committed to bringing the truth to the masses
Contact: red_eye@communistsforkerry.com
KGB Officer Shmersh
The Party Hammer
"I rather be interrogating and reeducating"
Contact: shmersh@communistsforkerry.com
Rosa Luxemburg
The stinging rose of the Revolution
Contact: rosa@communistsforkerry.com
Komsomolets Rob
Mascot of the Revolution
When he's not striking down the bourgeoisie with fiery rhetoric, he spends hours on end preparing for global domination
Contact: Komsomolets@communistsforkerry.com
The Party's Razor
Kommissar of Economic Justice
"Relative to the rest of the world, you are a wealthy thousandaire. You do not need more thousands."
Contact: ThePartysRazor@communistsforkerry.com
Carlos the Jackal
Born in a Soviet laboratory in result of an experiment involving Laika the Space Dog getting artificially inseminated with Lenin's brain for added intelligence. Underwent fierce kosmonaut training as part of Doomsday Program.
Contact: Jackal@communistsforkerry.com

 
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By watsmcm
08/26/04 - 8:05 pm

30 minutes of hate


Fahrenheit 911 was actually 122min

Kommissar Finn

 
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By Red Eye
08/28/04 - 2:52 am

SPIES, RECIDIVISTS, COUNTER-COUNTERERS!!
 
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By candy girl
08/28/04 - 5:14 pm

Rosa, you totally stole my revolutionary name!
 
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By peaches
08/29/04 - 12:11 pm

I think if I laugh any harder I might hurt something. Good thing with Kerry I'll have free health care right? HAHAHAHAHAHA....
 
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By Fidel
08/30/04 - 7:56 am

Cuba f*** US since 1959 Smile)))
 
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By TOMYBOY
08/30/04 - 6:06 pm

I agree with you that republicians are assholes. The list of goofy republician actors you should be beaten-down. Thanks for exposing the assholes we should go after and elimamnate.
 
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By t
08/30/04 - 6:12 pm

MORTGAGE-BANKERS FOR KERRY. PLEASE SUPPORT BUSH!!!!!! IF KERRY IS ELECTED OUR ECONOMY WILL IMPROVE AND INTEREST RATES WILL GO UP. SECURE LOW INTEREST RATES AND A BAD ECONOMY----VOTE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------
The spy mortgage banker is to report to
 
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By KerryForPresident
08/30/04 - 8:29 pm

В этой стране, все против бога, против вероисповедания, против христианства. Все для коммунизма. Но коммунизм не работает. Так это несоответствие делает меня думать, делает мной вещи вопроса. Как президент, я сделаю работу коммунизма в америке. "Fahrenheit 911" будет необходим к моему успеху.
 
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By gaga
08/31/04 - 7:57 am

MAN THE COMUNISM IS VERY SUX
и да ви се невидат у тъпите руснаци много сте тъпи само да приказвате знаете ама не и да действате
 
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By KomradeFreeper
08/31/04 - 9:45 am

Kerry - мой герой! Он представляет самое прекрасное, которое коммунизм должен предложить.
 
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By meh
08/31/04 - 10:47 am

Go to the REAL Communist Party USA site, cpusa.com, and you will realise that THIS page isn't such a satire after all. Priceless. Smile
 
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By haha
08/31/04 - 2:27 pm

Please tell me this is a joke....
 
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By VOTE FOR BUSH
08/31/04 - 3:49 pm

Communsim = Lazy
 
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By L Trotsky
09/01/04 - 9:12 am

I urge all visitors to find party, NOW! Drink plenty Stoli, hold nose, vote Kerryensky.

You no longer need to worry your life, John take care of you. No need to worry your bourgeois Bill of the Rights. Comrade Keeryensky will exercise these for you. Now you be quiet, Drink vodka, stay home, no more need work. Money grow on tree in amerika.

Bush mean you work, strive, overcome, build self-confidence. nop good!!!
Need sleep all day, bang on drum, no work for you happy proletariat.

Kerryensky, DA!, Bush, NYET!!
 
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By getalife.com
09/01/04 - 10:40 am

cpusa.com is "computer professionals USA, Inc".

Communist party is at cpusa.org.

Your jokes are old and recycled. It would be satirical, but one suspects that you believe your sense of proportion and continuance is spot-on.

Kerry is a capitalist friends, capitalism isn't the narrow sliver you probably believe it to be. I'd bet not one of you (are there more than one?) has actually read the Wealth of Nations. Your faux libertarianism wouldn't last long if you did.

Here's a few thinkers to dwell on:

Every society has a right to fix the fundamental principles of its association, and to say to all individuals, that if they contemplate pursuits beyond the limits of these principles and involving dangers which the society chooses to avoid, they must go somewhere else for their exercise; that we want no citizens, and still less ephemeral and pseudo-citizens, on such terms. We may exclude them from our territory, as we do persons infected with disease.

Thomas Jefferson

Private property ... is a Creature of Society, and is subject to the Calls of that Society, whenever its Necessities shall require it, even to its last Farthing, its contributors therefore to the public Exigencies are not to be considered a Benefit on the Public, entitling the Contributors to the Distinctions of Honor and Power, but as the Return of an Obligation previously received, or as payment for a just Debt.

Benjamin Franklin

Nothing is more certain than the indispensable necessity of government, and it is equally undeniable, that whenever and however it is instituted, the people must cede to it some of their natural rights in order to vest it with requisite powers.

John Jay, FEDERALIST No. 2

Spasibo Komrad.
Strana dolzhna znat' svoih geroev.
Stinging Rosa

 
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By Katushka
09/01/04 - 11:02 am

Too bad Kerry is really almost a conservative...he just looks like a lefty compared to that Fascist Bush! But I guess we must take the most left-leaning candidate we can, and Nader's not going to win so it's got to be Kerry, eh, tovarishchi?
 
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By Kommisar Sier
09/01/04 - 12:53 pm

Down with freedom.
 
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By Guest
09/01/04 - 12:57 pm

Pay no attention to the blow-hards. Kerry will lead us toward the promised land. We will have healthcare and at least one loaf of bread every two weeks. Life will be good, even if assholes cannot laugh at themselves, but still laugh at Billionaires for Bush.

Put a Halt to the Freedom of Choice!! Big Government NOW!
 
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By Igor Vanovanovich
09/01/04 - 3:09 pm

Anonymous wrote
Kerry - мой герой! Он представляет самое прекрасное, которое коммунизм должен предложить.
Is Cyrillic, yes? This good! Slavic alphabet! Hmmmm..."Slav"...Slave"...

Kipp workink for Glorious Hero of Socialist Vietnam Revolution, Comrade Kerry!
All pipples unite!!!
 
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