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J.F.Che Great Leader, MEDIA Contact This is your field commander J.F.Che’. I am working under the strict guidance of our great General Secretary. He has gracefully placed field operations into my humble hands. Contact me to start a revolution in your area. See the "Start a Revolution" page for details. I am also the Secretary of Misinformation. All MEDIA please contact the Politbureau through me. If you try to contact the General Secretary directly you will quickly disappear at the hands of the Secret Police. Viva la Revolucion! Contact: jason74ps@yahoo.com
General Secretary Fearless Leader Since I hatched my great plan the revolution is progressing well and our numbers swell daily. These days I find it hard to make it down from Chapaqua to mingle with the common peasants. You all must toil harder as we need to increase our tax revenue so that the great welfare state can become a reality. Contact: generalsecretary@communistsforkerry.com
Ivan Lenin The Party's Brain Ivan Lenin is the most humane human being, and the fatha of da Revolution (as opposed to Vladimir Lenin, the father of the revolution) Contact: lenin@communistsforkerry.com
PURGED!
It is our sad duty to report that such person never existed
Kommissar Finn Non-Person Non-Kommissar of Public Morals, Higher Re-education, and Secondary Sexual Characteristics
He will be always remembered as the most expendable member
Kommander Djin Courageous Bureaucratic Official Headquarters Kommander of the Party's Counterintelligence Units Contact: kommanderdjin@communistsforkerry.com
Komrad Red Eye Chairman of the Artists Union Propaganda artist committed to bringing the truth to the masses Contact: red_eye@communistsforkerry.com
KGB Officer Shmersh The Party Hammer "I rather be interrogating and reeducating" Contact: shmersh@communistsforkerry.com
Komsomolets Rob Mascot of the Revolution When he's not striking down the bourgeoisie with fiery rhetoric, he spends hours on end preparing for global domination Contact: Komsomolets@communistsforkerry.com
The Party's Razor Kommissar of Economic Justice "Relative to the rest of the world, you are a wealthy thousandaire. You do not need more thousands." Contact: ThePartysRazor@communistsforkerry.com
Carlos the Jackal Born in a Soviet laboratory in result of an experiment involving Laika the Space Dog getting artificially inseminated with Lenin's brain for added intelligence. Underwent fierce kosmonaut training as part of Doomsday Program. Contact: Jackal@communistsforkerry.com
By watsmcm 08/26/04 - 8:05 pm
30 minutes of hate
Fahrenheit 911 was actually 122min
Kommissar Finn
By Red Eye 08/28/04 - 2:52 am
SPIES, RECIDIVISTS, COUNTER-COUNTERERS!!
By candy girl 08/28/04 - 5:14 pm
Rosa, you totally stole my revolutionary name!
By peaches 08/29/04 - 12:11 pm
I think if I laugh any harder I might hurt something. Good thing with Kerry I'll have free health care right? HAHAHAHAHAHA....
By Fidel 08/30/04 - 7:56 am
Cuba f*** US since 1959 )))
By TOMYBOY 08/30/04 - 6:06 pm
I agree with you that republicians are assholes. The list of goofy republician actors you should be beaten-down. Thanks for exposing the assholes we should go after and elimamnate.
By t 08/30/04 - 6:12 pm
MORTGAGE-BANKERS FOR KERRY. PLEASE SUPPORT BUSH!!!!!! IF KERRY IS ELECTED OUR ECONOMY WILL IMPROVE AND INTEREST RATES WILL GO UP. SECURE LOW INTEREST RATES AND A BAD ECONOMY----VOTE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------
The spy mortgage banker is to report to
By KerryForPresident 08/30/04 - 8:29 pm
В этой стране, все против бога, против вероисповедания, против христианства. Все для коммунизма. Но коммунизм не работает. Так это несоответствие делает меня думать, делает мной вещи вопроса. Как президент, я сделаю работу коммунизма в америке. "Fahrenheit 911" будет необходим к моему успеху.
By gaga 08/31/04 - 7:57 am
MAN THE COMUNISM IS VERY SUX
и да ви се невидат у тъпите руснаци много сте тъпи само да приказвате знаете ама не и да действате
By KomradeFreeper 08/31/04 - 9:45 am
Kerry - мой герой! Он представляет самое прекрасное, которое коммунизм должен предложить.
By meh 08/31/04 - 10:47 am
Go to the REAL Communist Party USA site, cpusa.com, and you will realise that THIS page isn't such a satire after all. Priceless.
By haha 08/31/04 - 2:27 pm
Please tell me this is a joke....
By VOTE FOR BUSH 08/31/04 - 3:49 pm
Communsim = Lazy
By L Trotsky 09/01/04 - 9:12 am
I urge all visitors to find party, NOW! Drink plenty Stoli, hold nose, vote Kerryensky.
You no longer need to worry your life, John take care of you. No need to worry your bourgeois Bill of the Rights. Comrade Keeryensky will exercise these for you. Now you be quiet, Drink vodka, stay home, no more need work. Money grow on tree in amerika.
Bush mean you work, strive, overcome, build self-confidence. nop good!!!
Need sleep all day, bang on drum, no work for you happy proletariat.
Kerryensky, DA!, Bush, NYET!!
By getalife.com 09/01/04 - 10:40 am
cpusa.com is "computer professionals USA, Inc".
Communist party is at cpusa.org.
Your jokes are old and recycled. It would be satirical, but one suspects that you believe your sense of proportion and continuance is spot-on.
Kerry is a capitalist friends, capitalism isn't the narrow sliver you probably believe it to be. I'd bet not one of you (are there more than one?) has actually read the Wealth of Nations. Your faux libertarianism wouldn't last long if you did.
Here's a few thinkers to dwell on:
Every society has a right to fix the fundamental principles of its association, and to say to all individuals, that if they contemplate pursuits beyond the limits of these principles and involving dangers which the society chooses to avoid, they must go somewhere else for their exercise; that we want no citizens, and still less ephemeral and pseudo-citizens, on such terms. We may exclude them from our territory, as we do persons infected with disease.
Thomas Jefferson
Private property ... is a Creature of Society, and is subject to the Calls of that Society, whenever its Necessities shall require it, even to its last Farthing, its contributors therefore to the public Exigencies are not to be considered a Benefit on the Public, entitling the Contributors to the Distinctions of Honor and Power, but as the Return of an Obligation previously received, or as payment for a just Debt.
Benjamin Franklin
Nothing is more certain than the indispensable necessity of government, and it is equally undeniable, that whenever and however it is instituted, the people must cede to it some of their natural rights in order to vest it with requisite powers.
John Jay, FEDERALIST No. 2
Spasibo Komrad.
Strana dolzhna znat' svoih geroev.
Stinging Rosa
By Katushka 09/01/04 - 11:02 am
Too bad Kerry is really almost a conservative...he just looks like a lefty compared to that Fascist Bush! But I guess we must take the most left-leaning candidate we can, and Nader's not going to win so it's got to be Kerry, eh, tovarishchi?
By Kommisar Sier 09/01/04 - 12:53 pm
Down with freedom.
By Guest 09/01/04 - 12:57 pm
Pay no attention to the blow-hards. Kerry will lead us toward the promised land. We will have healthcare and at least one loaf of bread every two weeks. Life will be good, even if assholes cannot laugh at themselves, but still laugh at Billionaires for Bush.
Put a Halt to the Freedom of Choice!! Big Government NOW!
By Igor Vanovanovich 09/01/04 - 3:09 pm
Anonymous wrote
Kerry - мой герой! Он представляет самое прекрасное, которое коммунизм должен предложить.
Is Cyrillic, yes? This good! Slavic alphabet! Hmmmm..."Slav"...Slave"...
Kipp workink for Glorious Hero of Socialist Vietnam Revolution, Comrade Kerry!
All pipples unite!!!
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