| The Final Hour |
By
The Politbureau
11/05/04 - 3:56 am |
Celebration Turns Tragic As Workers And Peasants Re-Elect Bush  | All was ready to celebrate glorious victory. The apartment expropriated from a rich bourgeois oppressor had been artfully decorated with revolutionary posters. Vodka and pirozhki waited on the dinner table as Communists For Kerry gathered around the TV to watch the advance of the revolution and to exchange war stories. | ~  | Lenin tells Rosa Luxemburg how he changed costumes so that within one hour he could cast nine votes for John Kerry - as Lenin, Trotsky, Stalin, Bukharin, Dzerzhinsky, Khrushchev, Brezhnev, and twice as Laika the Space Dog! Rosa boasts a collection of "Voted" stickers she and her trained Democrat-voting cat had been given all across the Tri-State area. |  | Just then our trusty Dan announces, mournfully, that Florida has fallen to the imperialist forces. In vain does Komrad Kenneth try to adjust Dan's frequency. The CBS eye doesn't blink once. |  | Komsomolets Rob appeals to the spirits of Marx and Engels, reciting passages from the Communist Manifesto. Capitalist Bush's indicator keeps growing, but there's still hope! |  | Then crying Dan Rather announces the fall of Ohio. There is a silent pause. |  | I told you we should have nominated Dennis Kucinich! He could've done better than Kerry! |  | Damn you, Ralph Nader! |  | Komrad Red Eye retreats to the bathroom to reflect on why we failed. "We have lost because the Americans obdurately continue to believe in the old, archaic myths of bourgeois democracy! We shall purge it out of their stubborn heads with our red-hot burning Pravda! Re-education is the key! Our agents in the academia, mass media, and entertainment divisions have failed! The guilty shall be purged. Our efforts shall be quadrupled. Resistance is futile!" |  | Not everyone shares Red Eye's firmness. |  | "There is only one honorable way out of this situation!" |  | "REPRESENT!!!!!!!!" |  | If someone has to go next, why not Komsomolets Rob? |  | "Come on, it's an honor to go next after Lenin! The Party had trusted you with an important mission! If not you, who? If not now, when? We'll go right after you, don't you trust the word of a communist?" |  | Having thus blown off the steam, Communists For Kerry finished the vodka and pirozhki and went home. |
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By
Dan Rather
11/05/04 - 7:09 am |
Knock knock knock
Karl Rove is Bin Laden
Bill Bennet is Walter Cronkite
Bin Laden is clean-shaven
Knock knock knock
I am tuned to Kenneth's frequency
Ring-a ding ding
Hillary
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By
Chester B. Arthur
11/05/04 - 10:18 am |
Please do not jump. We can use good peasants in Canada.
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By
Senator John F. Kerry
11/05/04 - 12:18 pm |
Comrades,
Terresa and I thank you for your efforts to overthrow the legitimate government of the United States. We still have much work to go from our frozen gulag as we are being reeducated to become purified Communists.
In 4 years Billary Clinton will run with a Strong Communist platform. Please assist her and between then please inform and help purge out the thousands of radicals who prevented our establishing a one party dictatorship of the sheep!
I will write more later as time and gulag reeducation schedules permit!
SIncerely,
John F. Kerry
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By
blindutopian
11/05/04 - 12:45 pm |
i cant wait for communists for hillary!
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By
STINGING ROSA
11/05/04 - 12:54 pm |
Tovarishi!
Spasibo vsem! Voina zakonchilas',
no Revolutsiya prodolzhaetsya.
DA ZDRASVUYET!!!!!
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By
Comrade Otis
11/05/04 - 1:57 pm |
Kerry? Who the hell was John Kerry? Never heard of him.
Please comrades, you are suffering. Call the Karl Marx Treatment Center as soon as you can. You appear to have a very bizarre ideation. There never was a person known as John Kerry. Do not hurt yourselves. We will give you the Karl Marx treatment. It works every time.
Comrade Otis
Doctor of Dictatorship
Our friendly staff is standing by for you.
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By
RedSquare
11/05/04 - 3:33 pm |
Where is the Politburo to guide us through these turbulent times? We need you now! We need to hear the reassuring pounding of your shoe on the table to know you still care about the masses. Please talk to us!
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By
Komrade Koz
11/05/04 - 3:34 pm |
This site has always consisted of people who supported Komradette Klinton for the 2008 revolution! There was never such a person as John Kerry. All people who think that there was need to report to re-education centers immediately. The Party never loses!
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By
Peace
11/05/04 - 4:01 pm |
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By
Kenneth the Kulak
11/05/04 - 6:13 pm |
The frequency is now four more years.
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By
ChinaMan
11/05/04 - 6:16 pm |
We shall now plan a murder-suicide pact against the now President bush
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By
Red Nanook
11/05/04 - 6:32 pm |
Glorious New Song of the Revolution (theme from the new Exodus)
Oh Canada! Our new native homeland!
True socialist hearts for the party to command.
We see thee rise, Oh Canada, to the true North Red we'll flee
We'll stand on guard, Oh Canada, to make you all Commies
Godless your land will be, after we all flee.
Red banners rise, we're coming to thee
Oh Canada, Red banners rise for thee.
For Politburo Approval
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By
feldspar
11/05/04 - 8:05 pm |
Are you guys going to visit your friend tomorrow?
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By
NatashahatesBushwinkle
11/05/04 - 10:43 pm |
A few haiku for my communist brothers and sisters...
Bush country is red?
Just wait for 2008
That red will be ours!
JFK is dead
One literally and one
figuratively.
The Johns were running
U.S. jiggled the handles
The Johns run no more.
Viva la Revolucion!
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By
rehab junkie
11/06/04 - 2:32 am |
Rosa Luxemburg is cute.
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By
Khrushchev's BuriedVictim
11/06/04 - 2:57 am |
We will bury this Kerry traitor!
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By
Gladio
11/06/04 - 9:42 am |
Please do not give up!! We need you to start a revolution in Italy, in order to defeat the evil rich bourgeois oppressor Silvio Berlusconi!!!!
Webmaster Corpi d' élite.net
ITALY
www.corpidelite.altervista.org
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By
watchtower23
11/06/04 - 12:20 pm |
Mission accomplished guys...Now to the Gulag!
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By
CantoneseCommie
11/06/04 - 12:30 pm |
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !
This Kool-aid is pretty tasty !!
Can I have some more ?
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