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Kerry's Plan For America: He is Jesus |
By The Politbureau
10/13/04 - 12:32 pm |
 LATEST DEVELOPMENTS:
- Kerry is Jesus: ACLU Drops Support For Democratic Candidate
- Al Qaeda Vows New Attacks On Jesus-Led Coalition
- Council For American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) Calls Believers To Vote Nader Instead Of Kerry
- DNC Swamped With Requests From Hospitals
- Swing Voters Cured On First Come First Serve Basis
- Kerry: When I Become President, French Will Be Polite And Germans Will Attain Sense Of Humor
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By Lenin
10/13/04 - 1:18 pm |
Water into Wine!
Welfare into Jobs!
Vote or Die!
All you need is Love! Imagine: no more rich and poor, no more Alzheimer, no more religion, too! No more Republicans! No more Republicans! No more Republicans!
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By Andreas
10/13/04 - 1:52 pm |
What? No worship of the Virgin Hillary?
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By inessa armand
10/13/04 - 2:50 pm |
in john kerry's america, opium is the opium of the masses, and christianity is the religion of the future!
john 3:16: for teresa so loved the world that she gave her only begotten fortune....
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By Pink Kitty
10/13/04 - 3:09 pm |
What about the money changers? The tax collectors? The libertarians?
Will Kerry still love them?
Did he serve in Vietnam for them, just like those good little people who never missed a tax day in their life?
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By Boris Badinov
10/13/04 - 3:18 pm |
Komrade Kerry told a campaign crowd that Christopher Reeve had called him on
SATURDAY, the day after the debate, to "thank him (the good, attentive
Senator) for having raised the stem cell issue during the debate. This is AMAZING. Reeve had his heart attack on THURSDAY and fell into a coma shortly thereafter......
Komrade Kerry can (according to Little John) heal people as Jesus did, from all
manner of disabilities. He can also communicate with people in terminal
comas. Komrade Kerry is Rasputin reincarnate! Even now he is holding vigil at the tomb of V. Lenin. All stem cells to the proletariat! Long Live the Revolution!
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By SHMERSH
10/13/04 - 5:12 pm |
Komrade KERRY, made a promise to do away with ALL religion. He is good at faking to be a church going idiot. The Lubianka program under direction of SHMERSH ; Section 9. helped provide Komrade Kerry obtain the manipulative tools to snowball them for a few weeks.
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By PittsburghProletarian
10/13/04 - 5:35 pm |
The Churches shall remain open for the duration of the Great Patriotic Election. Once victory is achieved, all icons except the Blessed Virgin Hillary, Mother Theresa, St. John the Floptist , and St. John Esq. shall be confiscated. Priests shall be exiled, and Democratic Party Business as usual shall be reinstated.
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By SHMERSH
10/13/04 - 5:59 pm |
| PittsburghProletarian wrote |
| The Churches shall remain open for the duration of the Great Patriotic Election. Once victory is achieved, all icons except the Blessed Virgin Hillary, Mother Theresa, St. John the Floptist , and St. John Esq. shall be confiscated. Priests shall be exiled, and Democratic Party Business as usual shall be reinstated. |
I think it to be a good idea to have you put on our MODEL KOMRADS list. GOOD THINKING Pit.Prol. You could get a commandation for good thinking.
SHMERSH
Head of KGB Section 9
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By The Reverend Calmypal
10/13/04 - 6:27 pm |
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By PittsburghProletarian
10/13/04 - 6:35 pm |
The good thinking comes from a steady diet of Kerry Globaloney sandwiches, with a dollop of Heinz Ketchup with a Heinz pickle for a side. Heinz Baked Beans on Friday for glorious working class bubble bath on Saturday night. Oh.....I almost forgot....Stoli for breakfast. I recommend this regimen for all the toiling Red Masses! Vive la Kerry!
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By Calmypal
10/13/04 - 6:52 pm |
Globaloney? Is that kosher?
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By PittsburghProletarian
10/13/04 - 7:04 pm |
Oy vey! It's made by this meshugga butcher on Murray Avenue in the Squirrel Hill part of Pittsburgh, pretty close to the Squirrel Cage (Squirrel Hill Cafe)
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By Boris Badinov
10/13/04 - 8:49 pm |
Comrades! Kerry Globaloney should be fed to the starving masses at every opportunity. We shall extract the recipe from this Murray Ave. butcher and secure the manufacture thereof for the State to feed the masses of the Revolution. I vow we put Kerry Globaloney in the mouths of all who support the Glorious Revolution!
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By Comrade Rebekkah
10/13/04 - 9:07 pm |
Those evil republicans! Starting hurricanes and floods just to provide aid and get the vote! Comrade Kerry will end global warming and the evil republican weather wizards will not be able to do this any more.
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By NatashaluvsBoris
10/13/04 - 10:23 pm |
Komrade Edwards proved once again the magic of communism! I believe I saw Komrade Kerry walk on water in one of his Vietnam films.
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By Comrade Harkin
10/13/04 - 10:27 pm |
I originally mistoke Comrade Dean as the Leader, but I have seen the light of my ways! Hail Kerry!
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By Politburo
10/14/04 - 1:38 am |
LOL !! . This is so funny !
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By Ilya Mouromets
10/14/04 - 8:41 am |
First of all, if he's Jesus, we can't support him because all good pinkos know Jesus doesn't exist. If jesus exists that could mean, perish the thought, that our glorious revolution was a complete blood-thirsty sham.
Secondly, if he is Jesus, can he resurrect Great Leader Joseph Stalin?
Also the French attitude isn't as bad as the French stench. Jesus would turn all of that froggy wine into water and give them a freakin bath.
Comrade Myromets:
Although I wholeheartedly agree with you on issues of personal hygiene,
and the nonexistence thereof in that entire country,
I must reprimand you with respect to your lack of faith.
How can you question Comrade Kerry's Jesusworthiness?
Kerry was!
Kerry is!
Kerry will be! Whatever he is told to be.
So now, you must repent:
Say 10 Hail Kerrys, and off to bed without borsch!
STINGING ROSA
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By Yeltsin in da hizz-ouse!
10/14/04 - 10:56 am |
My compliments to Pit.Prol. for recognizing importance of Globaloney diet. It should have been obvious after seeing our glorious leader eating the peoples sandwich. I did get part of the diet right and I'm happy to report that my nose turns RED if I drink enough Stoli.
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