Communists For Kerry take over Republican Convention, arrest delegates, establish one-party rule
| || As promised, on Sunday, August 29, 2004, Communists For Kerry spearheaded the Great Revolutionary Parade, leading thousands of unwashed workers, peasants, and toiling intelligentsia from many towns and villages of our great American Motherland, along the Seventh Ave. and past the Madison Square Garden, in celebration of our victory over the so-called "democratic process" that still exists in the bourgeois "republic" of America. |
We demanded one-party rule - and the masses showed their resolute support! We demanded to arrest the delegates of the Republican Convention - and the masses unanimously agreed! We demanded the unconditional redistribution of rich Republican widows - and the masses said "when?"
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The triumphant march of our communist horde 250.000 strong with a few socialist parasite hanger-ons, hoping in vain to survive the next party purge with their feeble display of solidarity.
Like a Trojan horse, Communists for Kerry infiltrate and annex the liberal weak socialist movement into the great communist world revolution!
We find the street looking like a scene from the decadent "La Città delle donnea" - except for the swastika.
(The mysrerious obsession of the liberal bourgeois with the swastika deserves a special study. We think its kin to exhibitionism, as the thrill of carrying it in the streets must be equal to walking naked in public.)
Spoiled by the runaway permissiveness of the bourgeois mass culture, without moral guidance of the Party, American workers and peasants indulge in sin and herecy in the streets of New York. Some even publicly play with inflatable male rubber dolls...
"I'm not shaking that hand, who knows where it's been?"
The arrival of the legendary leaders of the Revolution causes a stir as the masses recognize the figures they learned to worship in schools and colleges that had been successfully infiltrated by the agents of Komrad Smersh.
At first the masses fear the red burning Truth of our message.
Some even tried to measure the brain of the Great Lenin - is it really the Father of the Revolution known for his superior brain power?
Lenin deploys the beam of superior Marxist consciousness to convert the ideologically unstable elements.
Just like St. Paul found his faith on the road to Damascus, the masses found their socialist faith on the shining path to the Convention.
The Proletariat's avant-garde displays its superior strength, leading the spontaneously formed fifth column, converted on the spot by the power of our slogans.
The devious and sneaky capitalists try to lure us off the shining path of the Revolution, appealing to our sense of vanity. Stunned by egotism and enticed by 15 seconds of capitalist fame, the avant-garde stops and poses for photo-ops.
In an inspired moment of awareness, Castro awakes us from the hypnotic snare of decadent fame, and points us away from the setting sun of imperialism, to the red dawn of Communism
Proud Karl Marx, in tears of joy, rests for a moment while reflecting on the inherent beauty of the children of the Revolution, who enthusiastically embraced his doctrine. Gravely concerned about his ideological obsolescence, he contemplates the addition of a 14th point to the Communist Manifesto.
Castro asks the Fathja of the Revolution, "Why does Marx look so worried?"
Capitalist pigs! Numbered are your days of profiteering with the effigies of our cultural heritage!
Castro's cigar's aroma deodorizes the air of the unwashed masses, mesmerized by the truth of our posters and slogans.
Remeber the motto of the revolution, "Women are men too!"
Helpless Code Pink ladies turn to the red heart of the peoples movement, Communists For Kerry. We'll show them how to construct Revolution! Follow us, lady Komrads!
Communists For Kerry embrace the ladies of Code Pink. Together we chant the Party-approved instantaneous slogan: "Pink is washed-out red!" and "Red is the new black!"
Politbureau member Rosa Luxemburg, the "stinging rose of the Revolution," shows the watered down socialist Pink Ladies how a true Komrad faces the class enemy of the proletariat.
The beauty of our communist youth stands out among the smelly, corn-fed, sandal-wearing, bra-needing comrades whom the creeping socialist democrats have codenamed "women."
This gives Lenin an idea!
Lenin lets the "pinko ladies" in on the Bolshevik beauty secret: "The stronger your communism, the stronger your beauty!"
Ladies! Admit it in your hearts that our strong communism is exactly the thing you fantasize about in your lonely bedrooms! Why else would you come out to this protest?
A wealthy Trotskiite denounces our posters as tasteless and profane while his wife examines the coded message on his T-shirt: "My Bush could've made a better president." She is not so sure about that one.
The anti-Bush superhero is trying to figure out if we are the good communists or the evil fake ones whom he must destroy.
The menshevik fraction gives us the coldest reception.
Dazed and confused, the decadent liberal bourgeois form a wall on our way.
T-shirt: $18. Commie cap: $25. Poster: $20. Getting liberals to show how intolerant they become at the sight of dissent: priceless!
Liberal tolerance: "medium size."
Liberal tolerance: "extra large."
Lenin deploys his secret weapon, clearing the way to the bright future.
The Great Leader leads the Americans to a happy and safe future where they won't be threatened by the need to work, think, and elect their leaders. In exchange they will be fed, watered, and kept warm as a collective by the stockbreeders... er... state employees. All under the wise guidance of the Party and the Politbureau.
We elicit loud cheers from the masses by chanting, "Welfare state! Welfare state!"
The Great Leader finds time to hear out the peasant delegates.
"Bush-bashing is like soooo totally cool!"
But their recital of Kerry's speeches quickly sends Lenin into deep sleep...
...Only to be awakened to a pleasant surprise! Who knew Gwyneth Paltrow was Lenin's secret admirer? More and more Hollywood celebrities are coming out saying they are not going to vote for the American in the November election !
Our strategic ally from the liberal wing of the Democratic party holds a sign "Brains went there!" The liberal bourgeois usually need the TV media to give them talking points; now they even have signs to point out Communists for Kerry from real Kerry supporters.
Earlier in the week they had arrived to protest the Republican convention.
Now they demand free government-issued brains for everybody. We take their cards and promise to FedEx the brains the next business morning. Must they remove the bubble-wrap before use, they inquire. Doesn't make any difference, we respond.
Liberal pleads with the revolution, "Communists! You are making Kerry look bad! Wait until after Kerry is elected to annouce the United Socialist States of America!"
Lenin explains that the revolution waits for no one, not even Bolshevik's useful idiots!
Komrad Che calls on us to continue the march.
Che speaks to the media through the Revolutionary Megaphone of Truth: "We must end the two Americas! First North, then South! And then we will all move to France!"
Che being interviewed by the capitalist running mad insult dog. The capitalist dog uses the excuse to get introduced to Laika the Space Dog, our communist canine agent in space since 1957. The Party rejects the prospect of mating the two because the moral standards of liberated proletarian dogs are incompatibleand with those of chain dogs of the bourgeoisie.
I see Empire State Building!
Armed with the collective knowledge of Marxist-Leninist methodology, Communists For Kerry take over Empire State Building and rename it into Evil Empire State Building.
The keen nose of Castro smells the counter revolutionary "Billionaires for Bush," capitalist oinking pigs plotting their evil scheme to sabotage the Revolution.
Enterpreneurs and rugged individualists, they took a break from painful decision making to run in herds through the park and to chant some meaningless but energizing slogans - as if they were some real organized communists.
Kommissar Smersh is dispatched to round them up.
They are no communists! They are greedy capitalist pigs and bloodsucking parasites, Gulag meat whose estates will soon be confiscated for the common good and whose widows will be redistributed so as to benefit the most needy.
Merciless Komrades Finn and Smersh expose class enemy for the bloodsucking parasite he is. The soon-to-be widow can't wait to be nationalized.
Yet another rich defector embracing the Revolution. No squeaky clean billionaire lady can resist the waves of love and intimacy coming out Komrad Che.
Full of envy, Billionaire for Bush smells Che in an effort to detect the brand of the pheromones that do the trick. "It's the romantic of the class struggle, stupid!"
Billionaires for Bush for the first time face real diversity of ideas! ... Soros never said it would like this.
Lenin re-educates a New York enrepreneur. "It's the hard-working and sucessful people like you who make life intolerable for the masses who hate life! The masses are entitled to have everything you have without doing anything!"
Che displays the Cuban flag as a proof that everything is Republicans' fault.
Capitalist pig tries to bribe Lenin with a poisoned dollar bill.
Komrad Finn digresses into quoting works by F. A. Hayek while pronouncing the verdict. Komrad Smersh tactfully pretends he doesn't notice and executes the bloodsucker anyway.
KGB Officer Smersh rescues a "billionaire for Bush" from reeducation.
If class war is what they ask, class war is what they get! Billionaires for Bush find themselves on the receiving end of proletartian justice (as depicted metaphorically by a minority proletarian artist).
Madison Square Garden, Komrad Rosa! I go in, you cover!
Communists For Kerry take over the Madison Square Garden, arrest delegates of the bourgeois Republican party, and proclaim the creation of the United Socialist States of America whose stated purpose is to build communism under the wise guidance of the Party! We'll amend the constitution at our earliest convenience. Oh, and the nation's capital will probably be moved to Brooklyn.
Long live the one-party rule and metric system! Next stop - Washington, DC!
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Pictures by Kommissar Finn, Red Eye, and other conscientious citizens.