Winner of the competition of "Prettier
Motherland Pages, for a Prettier Sovietnet!"
The
Politburo "Award for Excellence in Socialist Webdesign
in the Youth Collective" is a worldwide recognized symbol
of quality for extremely advanced and progressive websites
in the Sovietnet of the brother countries of the Comecon (Communist
Economies)
A long, long time ago...when the TV news biz started
They knew not where it would go
They hoped it would last forever...no matter how they did their jobs
But there were things that they just couldn't know
The public trust they were abusing...they thought that they would catch us snoozing
They sneaked in their bias...pretending to be pious
Talk Radio, cable, and internet...showed them all that their match they met
In his Depends Cronkite wet and Old Media had died
So bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
It was Brokaw, Jennings, and Rather who each night put out all that blather
They determined what was news
They pretended that they were real journalists...the more we heard, the more we're p*ssed
We grew so weary of their slanted views
Every chance they'd knock the GOP...it was obvious, the blind could see
While they put out their leftist prattle...we were getting set for the battle
Well, there came a guy named JimRob who had quite enough
It was time our side proved that it had the right stuff...he took charge and showed them it wasn't a bluff
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
For years the game they had been winning 'cause they were really good at spinning
It was easy as could be
Entertainment they sometimes threw in for fun...they came down hard on those with guns
Oh my, there's Katie's colonoscopy
There was shock when they examined her..."That's her brain" each one would soon concur
Then the nurses all started screaming...when they realized they're not dreaming
We heard some shout, "Here is a chance we cannot let pass...we will say we're sorry if we're being too crass
Everyone knew Katie's head was in her *ss"
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
Their cheerleading really was shameless...for what RATS did they're always blameless
No one had been too surprised
To the whole world they'd proven that they were whores...they kissed the feet of Michael Moore
Can I please have that pizza supersized?
He ballooned up to a half a ton...he could cause an eclipse of the sun
To the anchors he was a hero...while things burned they're playing like Nero
There was no chance they would show both sides of anything...propaganda they had been determined to bring
One day they were foiled by the vast right wing
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died...laughing as Old Media died
Would they do what's right? They're saying, "NO, never"...they thought they were just so very clever
They thought they'd get away with it
Docs were found down in Sandy Berger's pants...and Dan Rather thought he'd take a chance
With those forgeries now George Bush he would get
Dan used them and he was elated...but Bush is misunderestimated
Thanks to a group of sleepers...pajama-wearing FReepers
So Dan Rather's plan would fail...Ken's frequency was now in a jail
A happy ending to this tale
Old Media would die
We were singing, bye, bye to Old Media, bye
It was quite a run but you are done and now it won't fly
New Media's here, so be a big girl, don't cry
We were laughing as Old Media died
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