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How To Become A True Bolshevik |
By Red Eye
07/31/04 - 7:17 pm |
You too can be a Bolshevik!
Just watch our short training video, give yourself a cool revolutionary name, and send in your pictures! We will host your site for you, and help you plan, organize, and execute "spontaneous demonstrations of the peoples' will" with likeminded comrades in your area! You will receive a party membership, which capitalist bootlickers erroneously refer to as "looting license." It is not looting, it is redistribution, stupid! So do not wait another day! You have nothing to lose but your chains, Comrades!
Join the red army here.
Sixteen Steps To Be A Better Communist
1. Denounce Capitalism
2. Cleanse yourself of impure cultural heritage: individualism, personal responsibility, pursuit of happiness, and everything else that you used to consider a "norm."
3. Stop any education you might now be seeking. We will all be equal soon, so you should be spending your time on making a true Socialist state.
4. Take all of your possessions that you have attained through capitalist means and give them to us (the Party), the professional wealth redistribution service.
5. Find out from your landlord who is paying the least amount of rent in your building and demand that you not pay a penny more. We are all equal and it is unjust that some of us pay more for something as basic as housing. For all of you in public housing, please help those of us who aren’t to fill out the paperwork.
6. Stop watching Fox News. This is the media outlet of the bourgeois.
7. Quit your job. You will no longer need to work. The government will take care of you. Do not work for healthcare. Our new Socialized Medical Plan will take care of everyone for free (will have $20 initialization fee). Contact the state store to start receiving coverage.
8. Sign over your full income to your government. Doing this will finally give the government enough money to take care of all of us all of the time.
9. The top 2% of Americans only pay 44% of the overall tax burden on this country. We must demand that they pay all of it so we do not have to.
10. Steal a copy of the Pravda (a.k.a. The New York Times) on your way to the soup kitchen to keep up on the real current events.
11. Take a look around you and collect all books not approved by our party and burn them so they never again pollute a mind.
12. Stop thinking for yourself and trust the government. They know what they are doing and will do all thought and reasoning for us.
13. Stop going to church of any kind. The government will first need to decide what is the proper religion of the new U.S.S.A.
14. Throw out all clothing. The only approved state clothing are the uniform T-Shirts found at the State Store. We are all equal, and we must look that way.
15. If you find anyone that does not want to conform to this great nation, it is your responsibility to notify the secret police. A link to them has been provided for you.
16. Finally, you must join the party and help us with the revolution. Use the Join the Party Link to get on board. Don't forget to donate and Submit your tax to help us fund the revolution. Do it now, your unemployment checks will not last forever.
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By Dzerzhinsky
08/06/04 - 8:32 am |
The kingdom of state-issued bicycles and 70% marginal tax rates is at hand! Great is your fortune at such an athletic and godless candidate and doomed your hilarious, auto-erotic fantasy of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!
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By geezer
08/09/04 - 1:09 am |
Hey! Dick Cheney doesn't look ANYTHING like Julie Christie from "Doctor Zhivago"!!! "Somebody somewhere musta lied to me...." (Back in the day when Elvis Costello still had something of a brain.)
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By Pavel Morozov
09/16/04 - 10:46 am |
Great Job my pinko commie brothers
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By Tovarisch Yura
09/24/04 - 1:19 pm |
Moi uchitely yest dyaval e lubete emricansav! uubite evo!!
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By kerryh8ter
10/02/04 - 2:14 am |
Kerry flip flops more than a dolphin does in its entire lifetime
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By dalonso87
10/18/04 - 2:49 pm |
¿De que cojones va esto?. Saludos a los camaradas del foro de debate marxista leninista que puedan estar leyendo esto.
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By Slobovan Milosovich
10/20/04 - 4:04 pm |
Great job comrades! But comrade Kerry and his side-kick "Little John" are such weenies. Do they have the courage to lead the revolution?????
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By muzhik za Kerry
10/31/04 - 7:58 am |
Dear Proletariate Comrades,
I have tears coming down my face because of the joy I experience of the coming communist utopia of the Kerry presidency. Finally, the glorious 5 year plans are coming back. We will show the capitalist pigs what productivity is all about. And remember, the glorious October Revolution of 1917 must not lose steam. Long Live Lenin, Long Live Stalin, Long Live Kerry.
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By Nicolai Petrova
11/30/04 - 12:27 pm |
Please,
How america say, bolshevic nation yes? But u must find Strong Dictator who lead boshevic nation to triumph and welfare and end capatilist pigdog.
NIck
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By CommieCarl
04/12/05 - 5:34 am |
Please support the cause.....
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By The real commy
04/21/05 - 2:06 pm |
f*** off you bourgeois scum! real communist would never support Kerry! He is just an undemocratic asshole as the whole american "democratic" system is! Make way for workers democraty!
Almost evrything what is sayed on this site that is communist, is not!
You are just agents of bush!
Get your dirty hands off the hammer and sickel and off Lenin!
Lenin? Anyone? Lenin? Lenin?
Secret Agent Woman,
Stinging Rosa
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By raputan123456789
04/27/05 - 12:10 pm |
well quite frankly, lenin was my great uncle and i do not appreciate the rude comments left by you bolsheviks. so please can you watch what your typing and keep family heritage in mind. thank you. i love the bolsheviks. may they live long and prosper forever.
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By nurhan
05/05/05 - 11:08 am |
where do i sign up??.. i am surrounded by filthy capitalist pigs.. how do I turn over my money to the party??.. can i just mail a check to Comrade Kerry... or even better.. his adorable wife
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By chitoryu12
05/09/05 - 8:48 pm |
| dalonso87 wrote |
| ¿De que cojones va esto?. Saludos a los camaradas del foro de debate marxista leninista que puedan estar leyendo esto. |
Translation:Of which cojones goes this. Greetings to the comrades of the forum of
leninista debate Marxist who can be reading this
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By Chen-Zhen
05/17/05 - 9:13 am |
YEAH! I'm feelin' kinda commie...ooh, baba!
Hey, komrad...is da Stinging Rosa live up to her name?
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By kerryh8ter
10/02/04 - 2:14 am
Kerry flip flops more than a dolphin does in its entire lifetime
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i laugh so hard...ooh, baba!
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By lloyd conolly
06/03/05 - 3:46 am |
how many communist partys are there left
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By Russki
06/16/05 - 9:50 pm |
huinya eto vse , blya ! Bratva , pri kommunizme po talonam budete zhit' i zhopu ne chem budet viterat' krome vashe Pravdi!
TOVARISH RUSSKI!
DLYA ETIH TSELEI, MU V AMERIKE, PREDPOCHITAEM NEW YORK TIMES.
SPASIBO VAM ZA VNIMANIE, HOTYA PONYATNOT CHTO V SHKOLE VMESTO ANGLISKOGO VU UCHILI FENU. A ZHAL'...
STINGING ROSA
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By ROFL
07/29/05 - 11:54 am |
Yay...another bush shite.
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Kerry ... and communism? I don't see the connection.
and just like anyone possessing less than average "seeing" capacity, you are not afraid to admit it.
Thanks for sharing!
STINGING ROSA
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